


A Flower I Met By Chance, My Sunshine

by goyangicat



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Also featuring the rest of PTG of course, And thus, Chinese teacher Yanan, Cube Entertainment is dead, Dance teacher Kino, M/M, Teacher AU, also G-Idle Soyeon and Yuqi, also other SVT boys, and Hyuna, but also very gay, meet at a gay bar, triple h is a happy throuple ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22500556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goyangicat/pseuds/goyangicat
Summary: Honestly, getting a boyfriend was not high on Yanan's list of priorities when it came to living in another country. He kinda just figured the right boy would walk right into his life whenever he was meant to. He wasn’t expecting anything.Especially not expecting the right boy to walk right into his life and onto the stage later that night, wearing high heels and the tightest leather pants Yanan has ever seen.
Relationships: Kang Hyunggu | Kino/Yan An
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

“Just move to Korea, we'll train you to be an idol,” Yanan mutters to himself under his breath as he struggled through yet another student's notebook full of barely readable Chinese characters. “You'll be famous, you're so handsome, everyone will love you.”

He sighs. Big dreams only make for big disappointment, it seems. 

He'd been promised the idol life when the recruiter found him back in Shanghai, a sweet looking Korean lady who made the whole deal sound a hell of a lot more appealing than finishing university to be a flight attendant and facing his parents’ constant pressure to marry a nice Chinese girl. Yanan needed to _escape_ , needed a fresh start, and if he was honest with himself, he'd always dreamed of this sort of thing happening. 

But running to a different country without the support of your parents to a relatively unknown entertainment company on the brink of collapse doesn't exactly pay the bills, so when Cube goes under, Yanan desperately searches for something he's able to do in Korea, and apparently, Chinese after school teachers are always in demand.

Teaching was fine, but the _parents_ are a nightmare to deal with, and the company that hired him is no better, constantly trying to cheat in little ways to save money. It's definitely not what he was expecting to do in Korea, but the kids are so sweet. He loves them all, even if he has to review how to write the characters and the differences between tones about a thousand times a day.

Despite that, he still feels himself burning out, the fact that he barely knows what he's doing teaching along with the stress of pleasing the parents and pleasing the school while still trying to get the kids to actually learn makes everything too much to deal with. The doubts are always creeping up in his mind, leaving him anxious. _Am I even making a difference at all? Am I even good at this? I don’t get enough time to even connect with the kids….this school could get another teacher and not even blink twice..._

Yanan breathes a sigh of relief when he finally finishes the last notebook, collapsing back in his chair. 

Junhui laughs at him from the other side of the office.

“Finally finished?” he asks, and Yanan just grunts in response.

Junhui grabs his bag and moves towards Yanan’s desk, ruffling his hair and smiling softly at him. “Come on, sleepyhead, let's go.”

Junhui grabs both his hands to pull him up, and Yanan gives in, trading his chair for the chance to cling to Junhui. He's a good couple of centimeters taller than him, but he makes do.

“I'm _tired,_ Junhui,” he mumbles into his friends shoulder, and Junhui immediately knows this is about more than just the late work night. Junhui sighs softly, pushing Yanan up to look him in the eye and refusing to let him shy away.

“You're really doing a great job, though, you know that right?” Junhui reassures him. Yanan bites his lip, already feeling doubtful, but Junhui stops him in his tracks. “You've been the biggest help to me ever since you showed up, and you're honestly the only reason I've stuck around this shithole.”

Yanan almost smiles at that, and Junhui continues, intertwining their fingers and swinging their arms back and forth. 

“Let’s look for a better hagwon together when our contracts end, yeah?” Junhui’s positivity is infectious, as always, and Yanan nods slowly. “In the meantime, I think a night out would be a good idea for you?” Junhui suggests with a devilish look in his eyes that Yanan knows all too well, the look that almost always ends up being a _bad_ idea.

“A friend of a friend of a friend is opening a new club on the Hill in Itaewon. It’ll be awesome, there’ll be food and alcohol and dancing and _boys,_ everything you need,” he continues, and Yanan rolls his eyes but finally smiles at him.

“Fine, okay, let’s go,” he agrees, shooting his roommate a quick text that he won't be back until late and letting Junhui drag him out the door and to the elevators.

The elevator doors open, and a sweaty, tired looking, _pretty_ boy is already inside, with mussed up black hair and dressed in training clothes, who had clearly just dropped his gym bag right inside the elevator door.

“Oh!! Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes profusely, picking his bag up and moving out of the way. “There usually isn’t anyone left in the building this late,” he says, with a smile brighter than the sun. 

(Not that Yanan is staring, or anything. Not that he’s noticed this particular cute boy a few times before, going to the gym upstairs. Not that he’s wondered anything about him, since he doesn’t really seem like the gym type, right?)

“No worries,” Junhui says, thankfully distracting the boy from Yanan’s idiotic staring. “Just a late night. We teach at the Chinese school here.”

“Oh! I’m a dance teacher at the gym up there,” the boy says happily.

_Dance teacher…_

Memories of lost dreams flash across his mind, and Yanan feels a weird twinge of jealousy for this boy he’s never even talked to. But the elevator dings before his thoughts can get ahead of him, and the boy darts out first.

“I gotta run, see you around!” he shouts back to Junhui and Yanan with a wave.

Yanan turns to see Junhui with his eyebrows raised and knowing grin on his face.

“He’s cute, huh? Too bad you couldn’t invite him out toni-- _ow_ okay okay”

\----------

Hyunggu flops down on the floor as soon as his last student leaves, exhausted. He was planning to work on the choreo for the next song for his hip hop class, but he doesn’t have the brainpower for it anymore. He needed a break, and maybe a drink.

The thought makes him hesitate--it’s been _months_ since he’s been out partying, ever since he’d excitedly thrown himself into this new teaching job he has barely had any time to himself. The thrill of starting something new, of meeting new friends (and _adorable_ kids in his younger classes) and doing something he was so passionate about as a _job_ for once had kept him so busy and happy, but once the high wore off, Hyunggu was left longing for his carefree life before.

As if on cue, his phone rings, and Hyunggu smiles when the name of one of his old partners in crime pops up on the screen.

“Hey hyung,” he answers immediately.

“Hyunggu yaaaa I miss youuu~” Hyojong singsongs through the phone, and Hyunggu laughs. He keeps in touch with Hyojong of course, they got dinner just last week, but Hyunggu already knows exactly what this call is about.

“I miss you too,” Hyunggu says cutely. “How’s the club coming? Isn’t tonight the opening?”

“Yes, and Hwitaek is stressed as hell about everything,” Hyojong laughs, “so I decided to take matters into my own hands and provide some entertainment for the party. Can you please pleeeaaase come perform? I know you haven’t done it in a while, so I wanted to talk to you myself.”

Hyunggu pauses, sitting up and running a hand through his hair in thought. “I was going to come anyways of course, but I don’t think I have anything to perform….I haven’t practiced in so long…”

“Just perform some of your old songs! No one will care, and I’m sure half of them won’t even notice,” he laughs. “Or ideally, won’t have seen you dance before anyways. We’re supposed to have a huge turnout actually,” Hyojong says proudly. 

“Ah…” Hyunggu sighs. He knows he can’t say no anyways, he could never turn down Hyojong, and the excitement of performing is already bubbling up in his chest. “Okay okay, I’ll do it.”

“YES. Thank you so much Hyunggu, I love you. This really means a lot to the three of us, you know,” Hyojong says, and Hyunggu nods, smiling to himself.

“I know. I would do it for you guys anyways, I’m just a little nervous,” he laughs a little. “It’s been so long.”

“You’ll do great, you’ve always been the star of our parties,” Hyojong reassures him, and Hyunggu grins.

“You’re right, I just can’t help it that everyone loves me,” he jokes, and Hyojong laughs through the phone. “I’ll see you guys later then. Love you! Tell Hyuna and Hwitaek I love them too,” he says before he hangs up. Hyunggu stretches, still feeling tired from work but already buzzing with excitement. He cleans up, lost in thought as he throws his stuff into his bag.

It's been months now since Hyunggu has been to Homo Hill, even though he used to go all the time back in his younger, much messier gay days, performing at all of Hyuna, Hwitaek, and Hyojong’s parties-- _Triple H’s Queer Meet Market,_ as they’d dubbed themselves. Sometimes he’d dance with Hyojong, or sometimes dance and sing with his friend Hansol, he’d even dabbled in drag once when Jo Kwon adopted him as his drag mother. 

He loved performing, but to be honest his younger days certainly were _messy._ Hyunggu is lucky Seungkwan didn't murder him that one time he made out with Hansol during a performance. (He couldn't help it, Hansol was just so _cute_ , and they'd talked about how they didn't care what they did when they performed before. Hansol’s _boyfriend,_ however, was a different story.)

And the _last_ time he came to the Hill, he'd stumbled across that poor lost Japanese boy, Yuto? Hyunggu still has his name saved in his phone somewhere. He'd been wandering up the Hill, lost as hell when Hyunggu found him. Hyunggu didn't know where the club Yuto wanted was but he _did_ know the bartender at Soho could get them free drinks. 

“Is this a gay club?” Yuto had asked when they walked in, as if the rainbow flag didn't clue him in. God, straight people are so _clueless._

“Yup. Not a problem, right?” Hyunggu said, raising an eyebrow. 

“No not at all!!” Yuto had clarified, sounding panicked. After a beat he continued, “ _I'm_ just not gay.”

Hyunggu grinned, handing Yuto his shot and leaning against the bar to look up at him confidently. “I like to think that everyone is at least a _little_ bit gay,” he flirted, knocking back the shot.

Yuto shrugged. “I mean I don't _think_ so,” he insisted. _What was his voice so goddamn deep for though, like is there a reason?_

Needless to say, Hyunggu found himself in the back of the club on his knees before the end of the night, Yuto's hands tugging at his hair when he came down his throat. They weren't even drunk, never asking for more than that one shot, and Yuto had even kissed him after, hands reaching down Hyunggu’s pants to get him off quickly. 

_Not gay my ass,_ Hyunggu thinks with a grin as he remembers the night fondly. He wonders what Yuto is even up to these days, maybe he should invite him to the show.

Hyunggu gets into the elevator, throwing his bag down to shoot Yuto a quick text offering _free drinks at my friend's new club anytime ;)_ and then slumps back against the wall, still tired. He’ll have to down an energy drink or five before he gets to Itaewon.

Suddenly, the elevator dings and the door opens to two guys, who are just kind of staring at him. It takes Hyunggu a second to process before he realizes his bag is right in the way, and he panics and picks it up.

“Oh!! Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes, getting it out of the way. The two men are about his age, both extremely good-looking. Hyunggu’s pretty sure he has seen them around the building before, and he’s offended at the fact that there are boys this handsome out in the world that he has never even talked to. One of them in particular is _ridiculously_ tall, with cute dyed blonde hair, and seems to be staring at Hyunggu a bit. Hyunggu blushes.

“Sorry about that, there usually isn’t anyone left in the building this late,” Hyunggu says, flashing the tall boy a smile.

“No worries,” the other boy says, and Hyunggu looks over at him and nods. “Just a late night. We teach at the Chinese school here.”

“Oh! I’m a dance teacher at the gym up there,” Hyunggu says. _Step one in making friends with hot boys, complete._

Just then, Hyunggu catches sight of the time and sighs when the elevator dings that they’ve reached the ground floor. Hot boys would have to wait, he barely has time to grab his outfit and food on his way to Itaewon.

“I gotta run, see you around!” he shouts back to them with a wave, dashing out the door. With any luck, he will see them around work soon, he’s sure, but he feels regretful that he never even got their _names._ He sighs. Not only has it been so long since he’s been out partying, he hasn’t even _thought_ about dating or flirting with cute boys for ages now.

His phone suddenly buzzes with a reply from Yuto, which honestly, he wasn’t even expecting.

_Thanks for the invite, I’ll drop by with my girlfriend tonight if we can!_

Hyunggu sighs and slips his phone back into his pocket. _Why_ did he not invite Mr. Tall Devilishly Handsome Cute Guy again? Although his hot friend was probably his boyfriend, knowing Hyunggu’s luck. He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He’s got more important things to worry about tonight.

Surprisingly, Hwitaek has been able to buy the best possible spot for his club, right on the corner at the bottom of the Hill. It's called _Club Pentagon,_ all decked out in a cute new rainbow neon sign, sure to draw in new customers both gay and straight. Hyunggu feels a little twist of pride in his heart for how far his friends have come from simply arranging queer parties throughout Seoul to having their own, real space.

It's still too early for almost anyone to be out clubbing, so Hyunggu just grabs a seat right at the bar.

“There's a familiar face I haven't seen in ages!!” Hyuna immediately exclaims from behind the bar, rushing over to pinch Hyunggu’s cheek. Hyunggu rolls his eyes, but he can't help smiling.

“Hi noona,” he greets her.

“Hwitaek! Hyojong! Hyunggu’s here!” she yells towards the office. “Did Hyojongie convince you to come dance again? I knew he would!” she tells him excitedly.

“Yup. It's been a while but you know I wouldn't miss this,” Hyunggu admits truthfully. “The club looks great, and it’s such a good location. I really am so proud of you guys.”

“Hyuna’s actually one who managed to get the spot, she's got all the connections,” Hwitaek says when he comes out, quickly pressing a kiss to her cheek, and Hyuna blushes. “It's only mine on paper, couldn't have done it without them.”

“But you’re the one who named it Club Pentagon?” Hyunggu asks. 

“Yeah, do you like the name? It's like Club Octagon in Gangnam, but gayer,” Hwitaek grins, and Hyojong rolls his eyes. 

“That really makes no sense, hyung,” Hyojong insists even though he must have heard it a thousand times by now. 

“Yes it does! Pentagons are objectively a much gayer shape than octagons,” Hwitaek explains, as if it's obvious.

Hyunggu giggles. “It makes zero sense, but I agree it's definitely gayer. I like it,” he says, and Hwitaek beams at him proudly. “And for real, thank you for inviting me out to perform again. I needed this, even if I didn't realize it.”

Hyojong grins. “I knew you would. You love your kids but you're also happiest on stage.”

“You're right,” Hyunggu agrees, giving them both a quick hug. “Okay, I should get ready,” he says, quickly leaving the bar to find the backstage room. “Hyuna noona!! I love you too!” he yells back, and Hyuna blows him a kiss from the other side of the bar.

\----------

“So out of nowhere, this kid suddenly confesses that he _loves_ me. He even says it to me in Chinese, and I’m pretty sure that’s like the only Chinese he knows,” Minghao sighs, taking a big sip of his drink. Minghao had agreed to come out clubbing with them, but only if they went to the fancy Italian place nearby for dinner so he could vent about the struggles of being a fashion magazine photographer over some quality wine for once.

Junhui just giggles at his plight. “Isn’t he like, twelve?” Junhui asks, and Minghao nods.

“Pretty much. He’s seventeen? How are they even letting idols debut that young is what I want to know,” he huffs. 

“Cube had kids younger than that,” Yanan chimes in, and Minghao cringes.

“I feel like that shouldn’t even be legal,” he says. He glances at Yanan, slightly concerned. “Sorry to bring this subject back up,” he apologizes, and Yanan shrugs.

“It’s no big deal. To be honest, I feel more and more thankful that I didn’t end up debuting like that. The industry is too messed up. But it doesn’t keep me from missing the good parts of it,” he sighs, and Minghao nods understandingly.

“Maybe you need a creative outlet?” Minghao suggests, and Junhui suddenly interrupts him.

“OH!! You should ask the cute boy to give you some _private_ dance lessons,” he says with a grin, and Yanan resists the urge to hit him again.

“There’s a _boy?_ ” Minghao asks with a similarly evil grin on his face.

“I don’t even know him, we just met him today and he teaches dance at the gym above our hagwon,” Yanan explains, flustered. Both of his friends are still looking at him the same way, and he rolls his eyes. “ _Stop,_ ” he whines, and Junhui giggles and ruffles his hair.

“I’m just teasing you, but one of these days I’m going to get you a boyfriend,” Junhui declares. “I got Minghao together with Mingyu, didn’t I?” he brags.

“You had almost nothing to do with it,” Minghao insists, but Junhui is unfazed. 

“--so obviously my track record is great.”

Yanan just shakes his head. Honestly, getting a boyfriend was not high on his list of priorities when it came to living in another country, trying to keep his job and speak the language well and just enjoy his life was much more important. His friends could tease him about it all they wanted, but he kinda just figured the right boy would walk right into his life whenever he was meant to. He wasn’t expecting anything. 

_Especially_ not expecting the right boy to walk right into his life and onto the stage later that night, wearing high heels and the tightest leather pants Yanan has ever seen. 

The boy from the elevator blows a kiss to the crowd, and Yanan almost drops his drink.


	2. Chapter 2

The cheers from the crowd are ringing loud in his ears as Hyunggu makes his way to the stage, and he suddenly remembers why he loves doing this again. A smile grows across his face without him even realizing it, the excitement of performing again running through his veins. He blows a kiss to the crowd and grabs the mic.

“How's everyone doing tonight?” he asks, and the crowd cheers again. “As you all know, tonight is the opening party here at Club Pentagon! I see a lot of familiar faces in the crowd, so I'm sure you already know the new owners from their old parties...but now Triple H’s Queer Meet Market has finally found it's new home! Let's give them a round of applause first~” He directs the attention towards Hyojong at the DJ booth and Hwitaek and Hyuna behind the bar, blowing them a kiss when the crowd cheers for them.

“My name is Kino and I'll be first to perform for you tonight,” he announces, “and we've got a lot more in store for you later on! Please make sure to grab a drink at the bar, tonight's proceeds all go to the LGBT youth shelter here, and enjoy the show!”

Hyunggu signals to Hyojong to start his first song--one of his favorite Troye Sivan songs that was actually the first song he ever choreographed by himself. _Fools_ is still one of his favorite performances, actually, since it’s the perfect balance to show off his singing skills and still dance a little sexy--plus it's always a good plan to start off the night with a little extra gay drama, in his opinion. 

Hyunggu lets the music flow through him, eating up the cheers of the crowd when the dance break hits. He gets down on the floor and does a body roll, pulling at the buttons on his shirt, when he looks up to see one boy in front of him just staring with the most shocked look on his face. Hyunggu’s first reaction is to smirk directly at him, biting his tongue, pleased to have flustered someone so much--until the guy's face snaps into focus and Hyunggu himself almost freezes. His eyes go wide in recognition at the boy from the elevator, and he breaks into a grin. The guy’s cheeks just flush even redder while his handsome friend cracks up and hits him. 

Hyunggu’s heart does a little flip, not knowing exactly how to react to some cute guy he's hardly even talked to suddenly turning up at one of his shows--a cute guy he saw at _work_ no less. The world really was too small sometimes, and it was throwing Hyunggu for a loop. 

Hyunggu pushes the thought out of his mind and concentrates on the rest of the song, and the next song where he drags Hyojong down from the DJ booth to perform one of their old songs together. But the grand finale of his setlist is creeping in the back of his mind the whole time, and he knows he just can't let the opportunity escape him. Hyunggu catches the guy's eyes once more and makes his decision. 

He picks up the mic, confidently announcing his invitation even though he already knows who he's going to pick. 

“Okay everyone, I need a volunteer for this next song!” he announces, and hands shoot up everywhere. The mysterious handsome guy from work doesn't raise his hand, but he doesn't break eye contact with Hyunggu, either. 

“Don't worry, you won't need to do anything. I just need a tall, handsome man to sit on this chair here,” Hyunggu says with a grin, eyeing Yanan up and down. The girls around the club laugh and put their hands down, while some other excited boys wave furiously at Hyunggu, but Hyunggu’s found his target. 

“How about you, sir,” he says to the man, who blushes slightly at the attention even though it was obvious it was coming. His friend cheers and slaps his ass, practically pushing him onstage, and thankfully, he agrees. He climbs up on the stage quickly, and _shit_ he's tall and _real_ fucking handsome up close. He's even taller than Hyunggu is in his heels, and it leaves Hyunggu breathless for a moment. 

The man obediently sits in the chair, and Hyunggu takes the opportunity to introduce him to the crowd before the music starts.

“So what's your name, or should I keep calling you ‘Mr. Devilishly Handsome’ all night?” Hyunggu flirts, and the crowd giggles. 

“Um, I'm Yanan,” the man says into the mic, sounding slightly flustered. 

“Oh, you're Chinese?” Hyunggu follows up, and Yanan nods. 

“Yup, made in China,” he jokes, slowly looking more confident, and even Hyunggu bursts out laughing.

“Okay, so Yanan, I'm gonna give you a sexy little lapdance, and if you want you can touch me too and play along, but don't have to do anything you don't want to, okay?” Hyunggu says, running through his regular speech quickly. Yanan nods, his face flushed from embarrassment, but he’s still smiling, and his eyes keep scanning Hyunggu up and down like he can’t believe this is happening.

Hyojong hits play on Hyunggu’s command, Beyonce’s _Partition_ blaring from the speakers. The crowd eats it up of course, cheering loudly as Hyunggu breaks out into his routine, and Hyunggu eats up all the attention. He walks up behind Yanan, sliding his hands over his shoulders and down his chest to the beat, and when he smirks up at the audience, his reaction is completely genuine for once. 

But Hyunggu knows he has to be a tease until the end, so he gently runs a hand down Yanan’s cheek and turns back to the crowd, dancing around with everyone, blowing kisses and picking up a few tips on the way, popping his ass out when he bends over as much as he can, just for show. He swears he sees Yanan biting his lip out of the corner of his eye.

_Time to stop being a tease,_ he decide when the song is about halfway through, smoothly getting down on the floor straight across from Yanan, crawling towards him. He gets up on his knees right in front of him, spreading Yanan’s legs apart and leaning in towards him. Yanan’s eyes go wide, his ears even redder than Hyunggu thought was possible. Hyunggu leans back, running his hands down his own chest, watching Yanan’s eyes follow them down all the way, before he finally rips his shirt all the way open.

The crowd is going crazy behind him, but Hyunggu can hardly hear the screams past his own heartbeat as he climbs into Yanan’s lap. He grinds up against him, slightly surprised when Yanan grabs his waist in a burst of confidence. Hyunggu grins down at him, running a hand back through his own hair and cheekily moving Yanan’s hand down to his ass.

“Can I kiss you?” Hyunggu asks quietly, right before the song ends, and Yanan nods, pulling him in closer when Hyunggu leans in and grabs his face with both hands. Hyunggu’s brain can barely process the way the crowd goes wild when they kiss, the only thought running through his mind is the way Yanan’s soft lips feel against his own. He’s so goddamn cute, Hyunggu feels like he could kiss him forever.

_You could if you’d just ask him out,_ Hyunggu thinks to himself and fuck it, for once he’s going to listen to the little devil on his shoulder. 

“Wait for me, okay?” he whispers to Yanan. “I’ll be right back out.” Yanan nods, still looking a little dazed, and it’s positively adorable.

“Let’s give a hand for Mr. Devilishly Handsome,” Hyunggu says to the crowd with a grin, and everyone cheers for Yanan as he makes his way off stage. His friend and some other boy practically jump on top of him in excitement, and Hyunggu laughs to himself. He takes a bow and waves goodbye to the crowd, a blush spreading across his cheeks as he sees Hyuna and Hwitaek behind the bar loudly cheering him on, Hwitaek wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at him. Hyunggu rolls his eyes and waves them off, dashing backstage before they can bombard him with too many questions.

\----------

Yanan still feels like he’s in a daze as he makes his way back from the stage, trying to push past the crowd towards the back of the club where he can at least hear himself think. There’s a second performer going onstage, a burlesque dancer or something? Everything sort of fades into the background while his face still feels like it’s on fire. _Is it possible to spontaneously combust from embarrassment?_

“You’re so cuuuute~” Minghao coos, ruffling Yanan’s hair as if he’s not the youngest one out of the three of them. He and Junhui had both followed him towards the back, still just laughing at his plight.

“You’d think someone who was trained to perform would be less flustered on stage,” Junhui teases him, and Yanan just shakes his head.

“It’s different,” he whines, “performing was _nothing_ like that.” 

“You mean you _didn’t_ have cute boys making out with you onstage?” Minghao asks, amused. 

“What’s even the point of being an idol then?” Junhui laughs. 

Yanan just rolls his eyes. “Can you two ever just let me live?”

“Nope,” Junhui tells him with a grin. “Also, I drank your alcohol while you were macking on pretty boy Kino,” he informs Yanan, shaking the ice in his empty cup for effect, “and if you’ll excuse me, I have my own boy to make out with.” Junhui walks off and attaches himself to some buff guy with a sweet face and a leather harness moments later.

Yanan raises an eyebrow at Minghao. “When did he….?” 

Minghao shrugs. “That’s just what he does. Sometimes I swear I turn around for two seconds and he’s found a guy to make out with.” He sighs after he checks his phone, looking apologetically at Yanan. “It’s getting late, I really should be getting home. Mingyu had to work even later than me.” Yanan nods understandingly. Minghao gives him a little wave goodbye and vanishes, leaving Yanan feeling weirdly alone at the back of the club.

_Just wait for me,_ Kino had said...Yanan sighs at himself for how easily he’s willing to give it all for the boy he hardly knows, but just the thought of him is enough to make his heart flutter.

He’s debating grabbing another drink to replace the one that Junhui had downed when someone taps him on the shoulder. He turns to see Kino holding two brightly colored drinks and looking up at him with that smile that could put the sun out of business. He’s also considerably shorter than before, and Yanan just stares at him, confused for a moment.

“Heels,” Kino explains with a laugh, showing off his feet that were now in much more comfortable looking boots. “I just had to take my heels off, they’re torture.”

“Ah…that makes sense. You look amazing though,” Yanan tells him. Kino’s cheeks look adorably pink, and Yanan suddenly feels the urge to kiss him again. _But that was just for the performance...Kino’s just here to offer a drink to be nice,_ Yanan reminds himself.

“You look really good too,” Kino says with a grin, leaning against the wall and eyeing Yanan up and down. Yanan’s not sure what he even means, he’d really just thrown on a leopard print shirt and skinny jeans and smudged on some eyeliner. He was nowhere near as put together as Kino was, all dressed in black with leather pants and glitter eyeshadow and his hair styled up. Yanan just shakes his head at him, hiding his flustered smile behind his drink and quickly trying to change the subject.

“So, Kino…” Yanan starts off, when the other boy’s eyes suddenly go wide and he interrupts him.

“Oh! I forgot I didn’t properly introduce myself,” he says. “Kino is just my stage name. You can call me Hyunggu,” he explains. “Are you older than me, by the way? I was born in ‘98…”

“Ah, a little older then, ‘96…” Yanan tells him, about to explain that he didn’t care too much about the age thing anyways, as a foreigner.

“Wah, Yanannie hyung~” Hyunggu suddenly says cutely, and Yanan’s words quickly die in his throat. It’s fine, Hyunggu can call him whatever he wants if he’s going to be that cute about it.

“So….have you been to any of these parties before?” Hyunggu asks casually.

Yanan shakes his head. “I would, but uh...it was only recently that I…had the free time to go out clubbing…” he answers, a little unsure about what to say to avoid too many questions at the moment. 

“That's the opposite of me,” Hyunggu laughs. If Yanan had seemed nervous about the answer, he'd either ignored it or hadn't noticed, thankfully. “I used to perform and go out all the time...I even came out here drinking back in high school,” he admits, laughing at himself, a little embarrassed. “I know that was a bad idea, but that's how I met Hyojong, who kinda took me under his wing and didn't let me do anything too stupid until I was old enough.” 

Yanan raises an eyebrow, amused. “So you were a rebel? Somehow that doesn't surprise me.” Hyunggu shoves him playfully in protest. “Not anymore, though?”

“Oh, I didn't say that,” Hyunggu says, eyeing Yanan as he takes a sip of his drink and sets it aside. “I'm pretty sure you're the _good_ one here,” he says with a grin, boldly unbuttoning another button on Yanan’s shirt. “Gotta make you a little more wild.”

Yanan doesn't know if it's Hyunggu’s confidence rubbing off on him or the alcohol finally hitting him, but suddenly all his hesitations seemed to vanish into thin air. He swoops down to kiss Hyunggu, quickly and softly, and he sees Hyunggu’s eyes flutter shut when he melts against him. He feels Hyunggu’s grin against his lips right before Hyunggu suddenly pushes _him_ against the wall instead, tiptoeing up to kiss him hard. 

Yanan instinctively gives in, slouching down to let Hyunggu kiss him more easily until they’re both breathless. That’s when Hyunggu drags his teeth over the top of Yanan’s ear, biting gently and making Yanan whimper out loud. Hyunggu continues, tugging at his ear piercing with his teeth, and the sensation sends shivers down his side. Hyunggu is clearly enjoying the whines that Yanan can’t help but let out as he wiggles involuntarily beneath him, pressing him up against the wall closer and closer.

“I like your piercings,” Hyunggu informs him with a grin when he lets up, pressing kisses along Yanan’s jaw before he meets his lips again.

Yanan doesn't even know how to respond to that, because _fuck_ that was hot. Hyunggu's hands are wandering from Yanan’s waist to his ass, pulling him close, and Yanan can feel that they’re both getting turned on when he grinds up against him. Yanan’s head falls back against the wall when Hyunggu nips him at the base of his neck, where hopefully the mark wouldn’t show too badly.

Someone bumps into Hyunggu as he makes his way past, and Hyunggu has to pull away for a second, giving Yanan a moment to reorient himself, staring at Hyunggu up and down in disbelief as he tries to process that this is actually happening. 

_How IS this actually happening?? He’s so? hot?_

_Please fuck me,_ is what Yanan’s dick wants to tell Hyunggu.

“Um, do you want to get some mandu?” is what comes out of Yanan’s mouth, for god knows what reason.

An amused smile tugs at the side of Hyunggu’s lips, but he doesn’t seem weirded out. “Sure,” he agrees, and before Yanan fully understands what just happened, Hyunggu tugs him out of Club Pentagon and into the night.

\----------

The cold night air is invigorating when Hyunggu steps out of the club, suddenly feeling like he can take on the world, no matter how tipsy he is. He turns around and smiles up at Yanan, dragging him out and across the street to the mandu shop. It’s late now-- _4:08 AM_ glares harshly at Hyunggu when he checks his phone--but the shop is still open, still the savior of all the poor lost drunk souls of Itaewon, those stumbling home in the wee hours of the morning. They’re lucky to still be able to snag a table, since the late hour is never a deterrent to customers here.

Hyunggu takes a bite of his first dumpling and hums happily, realizing he was so much hungrier than he had thought. Yanan’s idea was brilliant.

“This was a brilliant idea,” he manages to inform him between bites. “Fucking incredible. I’m hiring you to make all of my executive decisions from now on.”

Yanan blushes a little. “I don’t even know, I guess I was suddenly hungry. This is delicious, though.”

Hyunggu nods, already distracted, busy trying to take a photo of the mandu even though they’ve already started eating them. _Who cares. The world needs to know about this fucking delicious creation,_ he decides, drunkenly singing its praises on twitter before setting his phone aside.

“So, tell me more about yourself, Yanan,” he asks after inhaling another dumpling. “When did you come to Korea?” 

“About three years ago now?” Yanan answers.

“You learned Korean really well! Were you in university before teaching?”

“Ah...not really, I just took...intensive classes,” Yanan explains. He looks slightly hesitant and Hyunggu suddenly worries he's asking too much. _Maybe Yanan isn't that interested in actually getting to know each other? Maybe he IS dating that boy?_

Yanan sighs, rubbing the back of his neck while he suddenly explains. 

“It's just kind of…weird how I got here. I don't really explain it a lot of people because it's kinda crazy….but I was training to be an idol,” he says. “And then the company went bankrupt and I was broke and needed to pay back my roommate, so now I'm a teacher.”

Hyunggu’s eyes go wide at Yanan’s story. “That's so impressive though? Damn, you have no idea how many times I thought about trying out when I was younger.” He shakes his head, smiling to himself. “And here I dragged you on stage when you can probably dance better than me!”

“No way,” Yanan laughs. “I'm not even that good, I was street casted in China,” Yanan explains.

“Because you're so tall and handsome?” Hyunggu flirts with a grin, and Yanan blushes, changing the subject.

“You've got the confidence and talent though, you totally could make it if you wanted,” he tells Hyunggu. 

“Nah, I'm probably too old now. And _way_ too gay,” he laughs. “There's no way a company can bury all the videos of me in drag out there.”

Yanan giggles adorably. “You've done drag?” 

Hyunggu proudly grins. “Just a few times, but I learned from the best. My dance teacher as a teenager was a guy named Jo Kwon, and I found out he did drag when he performed at a Meet Market that I snuck into when I was young. Her drag name was Lady JoJo, and before I knew it she kinda adopted me. She got a job in the Hedwig musical though, so I haven't seen her in a while and I kinda fell out of it,” he explains. 

“Huh,” Yanan says. “Do you miss that?”

Hyunggu shrugs. “It’s fun for a few performances and I loved dressing up, but it wasn't something I really connected with. I'm more comfortable performing as myself”

Yanan nods, but a grin is growing on his face. “I’d love to see the videos of you sometime, though.”

Hyunggu laughs, a little embarrassed. He can feel his ears turning red but he reaches for his phone anyways.

“Give me your kakao, then?” he asks confidently, and Yanan nods, pulling up the app so Hyunggu can find him. Hyunggu sends him a cute sticker of a cat blowing a kiss to start the chat, and Yanan blushes adorably when he sees it, flustered as he quickly turns off his screen. Hyunggu chalks that up as a win.

The dumplings are finished before they know it, so they let another customer take their seat, heading out together, Hyunggu happily clinging to Yanan’s arm. They wander through the streets of Itaewon chatting, still just as busy as ever, even as the first hint of sunlight starts to peek through the clouds.

“The subway is almost open…” Hyunggu says sadly as he notices the time after a few blocks. “We should probably go home…”

“Yeah…” Yanan agrees slowly, looking just as reluctant to do so. “I mean, I don’t have any plans. But yeah, we can go home. If you want.”

Hyunggu smiles, amused. “I do have an app on my phone,” he says hesitantly, raising a suggestive eyebrow at Yanan. “If you want to...you know. Find a place to go for a few hours…”

To Hyunggu’s surprise, Yanan quickly agrees, so he flips through the love hotel app, trying to find something close by, his ears still burning red as he does so. But to his dismay, everything was either booked or _way_ out of his price range, which was to be expected at this time of night. Morning. Whatever.

Hyunggu sighs, and Yanan laughs. “It’s really okay,” he assures him. Their wandering has led them all the way to the subway at this point, and Yanan looks around, checking to see that no one is paying attention to them still holding hands, now that they’re well out from the Hill. He leans in close to Hyunggu suddenly. “I’d love to take you home, but it’ll just have to be next time,” he says, voice low in Hyunggu’s ear. He presses a quick kiss to Hyunggu’s lips as the train pulls in, and looking him in the eye, Yanan suddenly insists.

“Take me on a date, okay?” he tells Hyunggu before he turns to catch his train. “I’ll text you! Get home safe!”

Hyunggu nods, a little shocked at Yanan’s sudden burst of confidence, a grin spreading across his face. He waves as he watches Yanan’s train pull away, and for the first time in a long time, Hyunggu’s heart feels content.

\----------

\--- Saturday September 6th, 2019 ---

**Wen Junhui  
10:28am**  
so you DIDN’T fuck him????  
i canNOT believe  
all my wingman skills just went to waste like that  
*wipes a tear*

**Yan An  
10:29am**  
………………………  
you vanished to make out with harness boy anyways

**Wen Junhui  
10:30am**  
his name is wonho you bitch 


	3. Chapter 3

To Yanan’s surprise, Hyunggu actually _does_ keep in touch all throughout the week. In his few experiences attempting to date here in Korea, his conversations have fallen out rather quickly, but for some reason Hyunggu actually is interested in his life. He doesn’t know what had gotten into him when he insisted that Hyunggu take him on a date last week, but now, as they trade little stories in between sips of coffee, Yanan is really glad that he did.

"What were you going to do before you got to Korea?" Hyunggu asks. He's curious about _everything_ in Yanan's life, and it's so new to him, but for some reason, he's so disarming that Yanan doesn't mind answering anything Hyunggu throws at him.

"I was going to be a flight attendant?" Yanan laughs. "I always dreamed of travelling the world and never did, so that was my plan. But I ended up living in a different country anyways, so I guess it worked out."

"Oh wow! I love to travel too, but I don't know if I could ever move to another country. That's really impressive," Hyunggu says, and Yanan blushes a bit.

"It...wasn't really easy," Yanan admits. "But training is even harder, so it made adapting to life here easier, if that makes sense. Plus, I got really close to my friends there. My roommate, Changgu, he was a trainee too."

"Oh! What did he end up doing?" Hyunggu asks.

"He had some fans as a trainee, so he thought he could make it on youtube," Yanan laughs, "but the crazy thing is, he actually _did_. He joined just in time to gain a huge following for his ASMR videos."

"Whoa," Hyunggu says, sounding impressed. "Mostly my roommate is just annoying, so I'm a bit jealous," Hyunggu laughs.

"You haven't had to smell his shoes," Yanan says, crinkling his nose. "Oh, you don't live with your family either?"

"Ah…" Hyunggu stops, and Yanan worries suddenly that he's gone too far, quickly trying to redirect.

"Oh sorry! You don't have to get into it, but most people here seem to live with family so I was surprised is all, but--" 

"It's okay," Hyunggu stops him, grabbing Yanan's hand to give him a quick squeeze of reassurance. "It's been a long time, it's okay. But….yeah. Not the greatest relationship after I….came out. My friend Shinwon was there for me the whole time though, so I put up with him," Hyunggu laughs. "And I still keep in touch with my baby sister! She means the world to me," Hyunggu explains, his voice so fond it makes Yanan smile too.

"That's good! But I get it," Yanan says. "My relationship with my parents is….weird too," he explains, making a face and sighing. "Overbearing, mostly. I had to get away. And being gay would not go over well either," Yanan laughs dryly. "They already are terrified just because they think I'm going to fall in love with a Korean girl and leave them forever." He rolls his eyes.

"Scandalous," Hyunggu says sarcastically, and Yanan laughs.

"If only they knew. They already scold me all the way from China for just dyeing my hair too much and piercing my ears," Yanan rolls his eyes.

"Just keep rebelling," Hyunggu jokes. "Get a tattoo and dye your hair rainbow, maybe they'll catch on."

Yanan blushes. "Actually I would totally get a tattoo, I have some ideas, but I haven't looked into it that much yet."

Hyunggu's eyes go wide in amazement. "You really are secretly wild," he teases. "But actually you should meet my friend one day, he's a tattoo artist and I think his style would suit you!"

"One of the guys who runs Club Pentagon, right?" Yanan says, to Hyunggu's surprise. "Dawn Tattoo…I follow him on Instagram…" Yanan explains shyly.

"I thought you didn't look into it," Hyunggu laughs. "But yes, that's him, and I already know he would _adore_ you. Think about the tattoo, but in the meantime I'll definitely have to introduce you."

Yanan looks down at his empty coffee mug, contemplating what Hyunggu is implying as they finish up here. "So you want to see me again?" Yanan asks, unable to hide his happiness at the thought.

Hyunggu looks surprised at the sudden question, but a grin spreads across his face. He grabs Yanan's hand. "Of course," he answers. "You can't get rid of me that easily. And, we're not even done our date tonight. I heard from my friend Hongseok last night that the new Avengers movie is really good, if you want to--” Hyunggu suddenly stops playing with Yanan's hand and smiles to himself, lowering his voice as if he had a secret.

“One of my students is over there,” he says with a subtle nod, and Yanan sees two teenage girls settle into a table across the coffee shop, chatting up a storm and in their own little world. “She’s the blonde one, her name is Soyeon,” Hyunggu clarifies. She’s dressed in a kind of tomboy look, with a cap and a bomber jacket, in contrast to her friend’s big curly hair and cute floral dress. Yanan keeps an eye on the two of them, grinning to himself.

“I think she might like her friend,” he observes, amused. Soyeon keeps staring at the other girl, giggling with bright red cheeks every time her friend does anything, and Yanan immediately recognizes that baby gay feeling.

Hyunggu shrugs with a grin. “I wouldn’t be surprised. But yeah, she’s really talented actually. I think she wants to be an idol.”

"I hope it works out for her," Yanan says, truthfully. 

"If any of my students could make it, she's the one," Hyunggu tells him. He pauses, examining Yanan's face closely when he realizes the topic that's been brought back up. 

"Do you still…" he trails off, unsure of how to ask. Thankfully, Yanan shakes his head determinedly right away.

"I think I could have done it, but in the end I'm kind of happy I didn't end up debuting. The industry is too fucked up," he answers, almost automatically, the same way he answers all his friends if they ask. Yanan figures that if you repeat something to yourself enough times, it'll become the truth.

"Anyways," Yanan continues, decidedly changing the subject. "So you wanna go watch the Avengers?"

\----------

\--- Thursday, September 19th, 2019---

**Yan An  
11:14pm**  
Even if I know I don't want to follow my old dreams

It's really overwhelming to be stuck feeling like I don't have a new one

I'm just...here, at a job I hate with nothing to show for it, and everything is spinning out of control.

**Wen Junhui  
11:16pm**  
I think you need to find something that will keep you centered. Anything that will bring you back when things feel out of control.

Like, when Minghao was really struggling in Korea, he found that reading helped him a lot. 

You'll find that too, Yanan.

\----------

The next few weeks pass by in the blink of an eye, with Hyunggu and Yanan meeting as often as they could between their busy teaching schedules. The weekends were free for dinner dates and Hyunggu tugging Yanan backstage in Club Pentagon for some _alone_ time, but that little bit just never seemed to be enough. 

Hyunggu even surprised Yanan one day, dropping in with lunch before his own classes started because Yanan couldn't leave, much to Junhui's amusement as Yanan couldn't help but blush furiously.

"Oh, I brought you a coffee too!" Hyunggu offers, and Junhui cheers.

" _Yesssss_. Hey Yanan, you should keep him around, he's cute _and_ he brings me coffee," Junhui teases, giving Hyunggu a high five. Hyunggu laughs and presses a quick kiss to Yanan's very red cheek as he dips out of the office before Yanan's boss sees him. 

"Shut up…" Yanan mumbles at Junhui's giggling once Hyunggu is gone, turning his chair away to regain himself before anyone noticed just how flustered he was.

_Maybe things are finally going my way,_ Yanan thinks, his next few classes going by in a breeze, the smile never leaving his face. Even his fifth grade class, notoriously devilish as they were, seemed surprisingly well behaved for once, and Yanan couldn't help but feel a bit hopeful.

_Maybe the rest of the year won't be so--_

"By the way, a new student is joining your high school level 1 class today," Yanan's boss interrupts him during his break before the last class of the day, popping into the office and immediately vanishing without any more information. Yanan rolls his eyes, his good mood instantly shot down by the news. The class in question was literally starting in five minutes.

"Thanks for the advanced notice," he mumbles under his breath, and Junhui sighs sympathetically in the seat next to him.

"I've got a few ice breaker games," he offers, giving Yanan a comforting pat on the shoulder before heading over to fetch his flash drive. He tosses it over to Yanan.

"Thank you," Yanan says sincerely, and Junhui just smiles and waves him off. _Junhui…you're much too kind when I'm such a mess,_ Yanan thinks to himself, sighing on his way to his classroom. There's no time for feelings right now, not when he's got to be on his best to impress a new student--and by extension, their parents, he remembers, biting his lip as he worries. The last time a new student came, the parent had some ridiculous ideas in their head, thinking the _first day_ wasn't challenging enough for their child and had pulled them out immediately--leaving Yanan to deal with the brunt of the company's anger about losing a customer.

“...Hello? Teacher?”

An unfamiliar voice suddenly snaps Yanan out of his thoughts. Yanan looks up, surprised to see the girl Hyunggu had pointed out to him on their date a few weeks ago staring at him nervously. She’s his student, right? Suyeon? Seohyeon?

“I came a few minutes early to introduce myself,” she says. “Plus I just finished my dance class and it’s in the same building. I mean, that’s why I chose this language school to begin with, but I really want to get better at Chinese,” she says quickly, clearly trying to get rid of any nerves by talking as much as possible.

Yanan smiles. She’s a cute kid, he can understand why Hyunggu is fond of her.

“What’s your name then? Do you know how to say or write it out in Mandarin?” he asks, reaching for a new nametag for her desk.

“I’m Soyeon. Actually, my name is pretty much all I know so far to be honest. My friend taught me this!!” She quickly scribbles it down on the nametag, her handwriting slightly awkward but impressively correct, she must have practiced. “She’s new to my school and she’s so cool, her name is Yuqi and she just came from Beijing and she’s _also_ really good at dancing, I’m trying to get her to come to an audition with me--”

Soyeon goes on at about a mile a minute, and Yanan can’t help but smile at the way she lights up when she talks about this girl. Maybe she was the girl Soyeon was with a few weeks ago? _Teens and their adorably awkward crushes…_

Yanan hands Soyeon a new textbook and gets her a seat as the rest of the high school students slowly file in with varying degrees of enthusiasm. It doesn't take long for Jisung falls asleep in the back of class, like always, while Yuna, ever eager to show off her skills, immediately raises her hand to answer every question. Yanan keeps an eye on Soyeon throughout class, worried she might be struggling to follow along after joining midway through a lesson, but she takes notes diligently throughout class, looking determined to catch up. Thankfully, the class ends without a hitch, and Soyeon grins and waves goodbye to Yanan before she darts out the door.

Yanan leans back in his chair once all the kids have left, relieved that he wouldn't be scolded again for fucking up his first class with a new student. He _really_ has to get out of this school, but just that little thought makes his mind start racing. _What if I can't find one? What if it's too far away to commute? What will I even do if I don't have Junhui there to keep me sane? Honestly, all these hagwons are probably the same, is it even worth it to try and move?_

"Thought I'd find you in here," Junhui interrupts from the doorway, and Yanan is suddenly jerked out of his train of thought. He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck as he quickly gathers his things. 

"Sorry, I was just thinking," Yanan apologizes, and Junhui shakes his head.

"It's fine," he says, gently massaging Yanan's shoulder. "We just finished, like, ten minutes ago, I figured you'd want to get out of here," he laughs. Yanan sighs, embarrassed that he kept him here longer than necessary. _Again._

"Also, someone is here for you," Junhui admits with an amused smirk as he leads Yanan back into the office. 

_Hyunggu?_ A hopeful thought flashes through Yanan's mind.

Oh. Not Hyunggu.

"Oh?? Expecting someone different?" Changgu says, mocking offense. He lightly punches Yanan's arm, and Yanan smiles.

"Yeah, someone much cuter."

"It's fine, I'll just eat the chicken I bought for tonight all by myself", his roommate threatens, holding the bag up to prove a point. _Fuck,_ it smells good. Fuck Changgu for knowing all his weaknesses.

"You just want me to be in one of your videos again," Yanan retorts.

"No! Well, yes. Maybe. Pleeaasseee?" Changgu begs. "Everyone knows two cute boys doing ASMR is better for my views than one." 

Yanan shudders. "But it sounds so _weird,_ I hate it," he complains. Junhui just laughs at the two of them bickering as they make their way out of the building.

Yanan feels his phone go off and quickly checks the text.

_what u up to tonight! *3* just finished my classes!_

Yanan grins at Hyunggu's text as the gears start turning in his mind. 

"Hey Changgu, I bet I can get you a _different_ cute boy to film with tonight…"


	4. Chapter 4

\---October 11th, 2019---

**idiot hyung shinwon  
8:23pm**  
GASP who IS this kang hyunggu

you're meeting his ROOMMATE!!

it's been over a month!!

COMMITMENT!!

but why isn't he meeting YOUR roommate TTTT

next thing I know you're gonna get MARRIED and you're not gonna invite me TTTTTTTTTTT

**Kang Hyunggu  
8:24pm**  
i hate you

**idiot hyung shinwon  
8:25pm**  
have fun!!!! use protection!!!!!!!

\----------

"The whole _point_ was that I wouldn't have to be _in_ this video," Yanan whines loudly.

"Shhhhh," Hyunggu scolds him quietly, but he's unsuccessfully trying to hold back his own giggles at Yanan's plight. "This is an _ASMR_ video, we can't disappoint poor Changgu's viewers," he reminds Yanan as he gently attempts to draw a cateye on Yanan's left eye.

"It's okay, some of my viewers are definitely here for the failures more than actual ASMR," Changgu says confidently as he smears glitter on Yanan's right eye.

Yanan just pouts quietly between them, and Hyunggu finds his gaze drifting down again to Yanan's lips.

"Red lipstick," he whispers decidedly. "Men _love_ red lipstick," he says with a smirk at the camera. He steals Yanan away for a moment, gently holding his chin as he swipes the lipstick carefully over the left side of Yanan's lips. The lipstick glides over Yanan's soft lips in a way that Hyunggu gets lost in, the color standing out beautifully. A shiver runs down his spine when he catches Yanan's eyes again, a shiver that has nothing to do with the quiet sounds of the video they were filming.

_He's so fucking beautiful, fuck fuck fuck._

"My turn," Changgu interrupts with a devilish grin and some blue lipstick in his hand. Hyunggu quickly shoves his thoughts back deep into the box they escaped from, digging through his makeup to find some blush instead.

He shows the blush off to the camera first while Changgu finishes. "This is gonna make him so cute! Well, he's already cute, so I guess it'll just make him even cuter. Yanan, show everyone how cute you are."

Yanan's eyes crinkle up into the cutest smile that has ever graced the face of this earth as he waves at the camera. "Hello, friends!!" he whispers excitedly.

It _IS_ cute. It's so goddamn cute Hyunggu wants to scream, but remembering this is an ASMR video he just clenches his fists and closes his eyes for a moment to regain himself. It makes Yanan giggle, which only makes him _cuter_ , god fucking damnit.

"Okay, that's enough of making everyone fall in love with you," Hyunggu scolds him lightly as he swipes the blush across Yanan's cheek.

"Someone's jealous--" Changgu mumbles at the same time as Yanan starts speaking quietly.

"There's only one person I want to fall in love with me," he says with a shy glance up at Hyunggu.

Hyunggu's heart does a flip and he freezes. _Fall in love--_

_\--holy shit--_

BRRIIINNGG!

The timer on Changgu's phone snaps Hyunggu out of his train of thought, and he quietly puts his brush down.

"That's gross," Changgu laughs at Yanan's comment, apparently unnoticing of Hyunggu's inner dilemma. He hands Yanan the mirror, excited to show off his mess of a makeup look. "So who did it better, your best friend or your boyfriend? Now before you say anything, might I remind you which one of us you live wi--"

"WHAT IS THIS!!!" Yanan yells, immediately disregarding the ASMR aspect of the video in favor of grabbing the first makeup products he can and attempting to pin a cackling Changgu down and draw on his face.

Hyunggu shakes his head and smiles at the camera, waving goodbye. "Thanks for watching! Make sure to hit that like button and subscribe, assuming Changgu here survives until next week. Bye!"

"Is everything okay? You seemed a little out of it while we were filming," Yanan asks suddenly as they get ready for bed. Between the filming and scarfing down the fried chicken Changgu had treated them to, Hyunggu had lost track of the time and Yanan had offered to let him stay without a second thought. It was a long taxi ride halfway across Seoul to Hyunggu's apartment, so he graciously accepted, despite all the annoying feelings running constantly through his head.

How do you tell your new boyfriend that the so-called _problem_ was simply that you were, well.

Falling in love with him.

"It's nothing! My kids class just wore me out today," Hyunggu laughs, waving away Yanan's concern. 

"Come cuddle with me," Hyunggu insists, changing the subject as he crawls under Yanan's covers. Yanan quickly obliges and joins him, but Hyunggu still sees the look on his face.

"You worry too much about me," Hyunggu says lightly, pushing Yanan's hair out of his eyes.

"I worry too much about everything," Yanan laughs dryly, "but I just, you know. I really care about you and I really...like you," he mumbles cutely, and Hyunggu can't help but smile.

"I really like you too," Hyunggu admits, and then quickly kisses Yanan before he thinks too much about it. It's so weird, and so terrifying, but it just feels _right_ and he's not about to fuck it up.

Yanan is so cute every time they kiss, god, he just melts into it in a way that Hyunggu loves to watch every time. It's a whole new experience to finally kiss him in a place where they can enjoy themselves. The past month has just been sweet quick kisses when no one is looking and desperate hookups in noraebangs and the back of Club Pentagon, and Hyunggu is excited to finally get to enjoy Yanan the way he deserves. _This was a fucking brilliant idea, why didn't we go to each other's apartments before??_

"Can I blow you?" Hyunggu asks breathlessly between kisses. He drags his hand down Yanan's body teasingly, stopping just short of his crotch and fiddling with his waistband instead. Yanan quickly, enthusiastically agrees, and Hyunggu doesn't waste any time pulling down his boxers and wrapping his lips around Yanan's cock.

Hyunggu _knows_ he's good at this, knows from the praise that plenty of men have showered him with through broken moans and whispers, and he _loves_ it, loves the way it feels while knowing he's completely in control of someone else's pleasure.

And yet, there's still something different about Yanan, about the way he immediately whimpers at the first contact of Hyunggu's tongue, the way he runs his fingers through Hyunggu's hair so softly, the way Hyunggu's name tumbles from his lips in between soft curses in Chinese that Hyunggu only half understands. 

And well, maybe there really isn't anything different about Yanan, but there is in the way Hyunggu's heart reacts to every moan, every soft touch, every moment with Yanan.

And maybe that's the most terrifying part of all.

Hyunggu feels Yanan's hand cover his own on his hip, their fingers interlocking with a squeeze when Yanan comes. He looks so beautiful, so blissfully fucked out when Hyunggu comes up, but he immediately drags him down for a kiss.

"My turn?" Yanan asks, "or…?"

"Just touch me," Hyunggu says, guiding Yanan's hand down, so embarrassingly on edge that he knows he won't be able to handle anything else. Yanan jerks him off quickly with kisses and little bites down Hyunggu's neck, and Hyunggu spills over his hand in no time. Yanan pulls his hand up and, suddenly, scandalously, licks his own fingers clean, eyes locked with Hyunggu as he stares on in shock.

What the fuck, Yanan.

Hyunggu lets out an unintentional groan at the sight and Yanan just giggles at him. He tilts Hyunggu's head up to kiss him, the taste of Hyunggu's cum still heavy on his tongue, before he slips away to grab a towel for Hyunggu.

_Yanan really is full of surprises,_ Hyunggu muses, _and to think I thought I needed to make him more wild…_

The two of them clean up and in what feels like no time at all, Yanan is curled up next to Hyunggu again, somehow managing to become the little spoon before he falls asleep. It's painfully cute, Hyunggu thinks, his heart beating a little faster at the sight of Yanan's eyelashes resting on his cheeks and his too-long legs curled up into a ball, but every moment that Hyunggu falls deeper in love with the man in his arms is still haunted by the anxieties of his past.

And so, Hyunggu stays awake, frozen by the fear of losing everything once again.

_This is so irrational_ , he tells himself, and yet his mind still won't shut up. _You're not the same person you were at seventeen, and your parents don't control your life._

_I know you actually want this,_ Shinwon even texts him, in a rare moment of seriousness responding to Hyunggu's late night turmoil. _You're a romantic at heart, I know you._

And Shinwon is _right_ , even though Hyunggu hates him for it. For the past few years, Hyunggu has been having _fun_ , that's for sure, meeting men with no commitment involved while throwing himself into dance-- chasing his dreams, he told himself, avoiding the fact that it's all been a distraction.

Hyunggu sighs, and suddenly Yanan rolls over in his sleep, face to sleeping face with Hyunggu. Hyunggu smiles softly and sighs again.

_Fuck. I really, really, like him._

Somewhere between Hyunggu's ghosts of the past and love of the present, sleep finally claims him.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the longest thing I've ever written and I figure it's time to start putting it out there....I've been writing this on and off for like a year and a half omg
> 
> title inspired by Kino's song Mango!
> 
> thanks for reading! comments are always loved ♡  
> [twitter](twitter.com/goyangiprince) | [cc](https://curiouscat.me/goyangiprince)


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